


Waiting

by Talsi74656



Series: Talsi's Twelve Days of Ficmas [11]
Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Angst, F/M, Homecoming, Roses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-22
Updated: 2015-12-22
Packaged: 2018-05-07 14:55:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5460521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Talsi74656/pseuds/Talsi74656
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Endgame fixer. Kathryn is devastated by news of Chakotay's new relationship, he comes to set her straight.</p><p>On the eleventh day of ficmas Talsi gave to me, eleven roses waiting.</p><p>Talsi's twelve days of ficmas, day eleven</p>
            </blockquote>





	Waiting

**Author's Note:**

> Yet another itty bitty story I added because time and migraines are bad for my muse. Screw you, muse! This one is promptless as well.
> 
> Enjoy, or not, I'm not the boss of you.
> 
> Disclaimer: They're not mine, I really wish they were - new goal, become billionaire and buy the rights... to Star Trek...

Kathryn walked at a sombre pace, not overly eager to enter the bridge.  
  
The time since Voyager’s return to Earth had been full of celebration and joy for a majority of the crew, but Kathryn couldn’t seem to summon the energy to be excited.  
  
Her past seven years had been spent in a dogged pursuit of this goal and now that it was over she felt – strangely empty. She wanted to attribute it to the idea that she just needed to refocus on a new goal, but the simple truth was that she was exhausted, overwhelmed and heartbroken.  
  
Exhausted because she’d spent the better part of a decade on duty, constantly vigilant to the point where her body had forgotten how to rest properly.  
  
She felt overwhelmed by Starfleet’s hounding, specifically in regard to the warrants still posted for fifty percent of Voyager’s crew.  
  
Her heartbreak was something that she hadn’t expected in all honesty. Chakotay, whom she’d held as a kind of personal reward for Voyager’s eventual return to Earth, had moved on. The loss of his affections felt rather sudden, though after a reflection of the last year she began to realise the wedge had been driven between them some time ago.  
  
She never really expected him to keep his veiled promise from so long ago. She certainly shouldn’t have been angry with him for moving on – but she was.  
  
More than anything she wished she’d never found out about Chakotay’s new fling. Supposedly they would marry. She hated herself – or more accurately her alternate future-self for telling her about their relationship. Granted that had factored into her decision as to whether Voyager should break the temporal prime directive, _again_ , and follow the Admiral’s plan. Seven’s death wasn’t something she wanted to fathom any more than her being married to –  
  
Kathryn sighed inwardly as the thought played through her mind yet again. Every time she thought she’d escaped the pit of self-pity and despair, she found herself wading back into it. She needed a good distraction, something that wouldn’t make her want to phaser someone.  
  
Sadly, though, she didn’t have the time for such distractions now. The amount of work she needed to do before the debriefings were due to start was staggering. She probably needed help, but Tuvok had been given medical leave to return to Vulcan and she couldn’t bring herself to ask Chakotay.  
  
She approached the turbolift around the corner from her quarters, willing herself to continue forward, working on the dregs of energy left in her body. Once inside she slumped against the wall and called for the bridge.  
  
Chakotay would be on duty by now, though if she was lucky, he, along with the rest of the crew, was too busy partying to be on the bridge. Voyager had entered station keeping, the ship would be fine on a skeleton crew until Starfleet allowed their departure. There was little to worry about in port, after all.  
  
The lift’s progress didn’t match her mood at all, it zoomed through the decks as though it was as excited as the crew to reach its destination. She cursed the thing as the doors to the bridge opened.  
  
Mike Ayala sat at the helm, though he was leaning back in his chair, position rather relaxed. The only other person on the bridge was Sue Swinn, who’d taken up operations.  
  
They both glanced up as she entered, obviously startled to see anyone else.  
  
“Good morning, Captain,” Sue greeted pleasantly.  
  
“Morning,” Ayala echoed.  
  
“Good morning,” Kathryn managed. “I’ll be in my ready room for the day,” she added.  
  
Ayala nodded, though it was unlikely they or anyone else would interrupt her, unless someone from Starfleet called again.  
  
Trying not to show her irritation she proceeded to the door and entered without so much as a glance at the view screen.  
  
Given her mood she wasn’t at all prepared for what she found when she entered her office. She stared in quiet shock at the vase in the centre of her desk which held a bouquet of roses, no two the same colour. Standing next to the vase was a cream coloured envelope with her name hand written on the front.  
  
Tentatively curious she approached her desk and took the envelope. She didn’t recognise the hand, though handwriting wasn’t exactly a common practise these days. Whoever left the flowers here had sealed the envelope with a small blob of red wax. Kathryn couldn’t help but smile at the thought of someone going to so much effort.  
  
There were few people who had the ability to do this, fewer still who called her Kathryn. Until a couple of days ago she’d have had no doubt who these were from, today however, she was baffled.  
  
She cracked the seal and pulled the single page from inside. The handwriting was painstakingly perfect and must have taken a rather long time to pen.  
  
Insatiable curiosity and weak will got the better of her and her eyes flicked to the bottom of the page. She sighed upon finding the letter unsigned.  
  
She returned to the top of the page and began to read.

_Kathryn,_

_You did it. You got us home. I always knew you would._  
  
_Your steadfast resolve, strength and courage were enough to bolster the crew, even on our worst days. For that, I, and this crew will be eternally grateful._  
  
_This gift isn’t nearly enough to thank you for your leadership, your bravery and your sacrifices for Voyager, but I hope it helps you understand just how much you mean to me and to this crew._  
  
_The pale pink rose conveys admiration, mine and they crew’s for everything you’ve done. You truly are deserving of our respect, you earned it long ago and held it through insurmountable odds._  
  
_The deep pink rose is to thank you. You never gave up on us and we wouldn’t be here without you. The energy and grit overpowered the worst the Delta Quadrant had to throw at us and for that we will always be eternally grateful._  
  
_The yellow rose is for the friendship you chose to show me and this crew. You could easily have separated yourself; it may have made your job easier, but your genuine care for us always showed. Your smiling face was not just welcome at our gatherings, but wanted. I daresay there are few in your position who could claim the same._  
  
_The peach rose conveys my appreciation and gratitude. I know how difficult your job was and there’s not a person in this galaxy I’d have followed as willingly as I followed you. You were an example to me, to this crew and to the Delta Quadrant of everything Humanity has to offer._  
  
_The white rose is for purity, your dogged determination to stick by your principles, even when abandoning them might have been the easier path to take. Starfleet are lucky to have you among their ranks._  
  
_The coral rose represents your passion for our goal. Even when the rest of the crew were willing to give in, you kept us going. At every turn you helped us see the positive, even when you were having difficulty seeing it yourself._  
  
_The orange rose shows your enthusiasm, your desire to continue with the fundamental mission of Starfleet, despite our predicament. Your insatiable curiosity added depth to our journey. Where others might have turned straight for the Alpha Quadrant and stopped only for supplies, you lived by your obligation to explore._  
  
_The red and white rose is for your success in unifying this crew. No one else would have given second chances to so many as you did. Every member of this crew owes you more than words can say._  
  
_The blue rose signifies the unattainable, as our goal seemed seven years ago. Your tenacity saw us through the toughest situations faced by and Starfleet crew, I’m certain._  
  
_The peace rose is for the easy alliance forged between Starfleet and Maquis. Any one of them would have fought for you, from the very beginning._  
  
_The eleventh rose, yellow, tipped with red is to signify my friendship with you and the deepening of that relationship over time. A relationship that I hope will only grow as our lives continue here at home._  
  
_The last rose is waiting for you when you finally decide to take the time to relax. Please do so. You deserve a break, Kathryn._

She had little doubt now, given the context and content of the letter that this was from Chakotay. Though it hadn’t meant what she’d originally hoped.  
  
The sentiment was one friend to another, an attempt at a thank you, to boost her shaky morale. The problem was it had quite the opposite effect. For a heartbeat she’d _hoped_ that this was more than just a gesture of friendship. She’d hoped the letter had been one of a love they’d shared, but never acted upon long ago. She had been devastatingly wrong.  
  
Her throat constricted, causing her raggedly drawn breaths to become painful. Her eyes stung with years of unshed tears for everything she’d given in the Delta Quadrant. She wanted to pick up the vase and hurl it at the window. The petulance of the idea halted her in her tracks; that, and the fact that, though the gift hadn’t been what she’d hoped, it was still touching and thoughtful and basically Chakotay through and through.  
  
With great care she placed the letter back in the envelope then moved it and the vase on the coffee table where she could happily ignore them while continuing her work.

***=/\=***

Kathryn had forgotten her lunch break again. Her stomach had been growling for some time, trying to convince her to move and get something to eat, but there was still so much to do. She wanted to re-review every single log from the senior-staff before submitting them to be viewed by Starfleet. They all had to be submitted before debriefings could commence, so the longer she took, the longer it would be before the crew were able to enjoy their time at home.  
  
She’d made it through Voyager’s first year, satisfied that everything was in order and filed them in a completed folder. Her eyes flicked to the chronometer and she started in surprise. The time was twenty hundred; no wonder she was so hungry.  
  
The amount of work she’d done was disappointing, though. At this rate it would take her a week to finish her review, maybe longer as their journey became more action packed.  
  
She groaned and with a sigh opened up the next log. If she pushed through she’d be able to view a few more before she crashed.  
  
No more than a sentence in, the door chimed.  
  
She glanced up at the thing as though it were some foreign oddity. The entire crew should have been partying in the mess hall, or passed out drunk somewhere in the corridors.  
  
“Come,” she remembered to say. She remained seated as her eyes fell on the hatch.  
  
The doors hissed open and she shouldn’t have been surprised to see Chakotay enter, hands held behind his back as he sometimes walked. His eyes flicked to the vase and he gave a concerned frown.  
  
“Have you had a break today, Kathryn?” he asked.  
  
She wanted to dismiss him now, make him leave her alone, but she knew that wasn’t going to work.  
  
“I have far too much to do,” she answered vaguely. She returned her focus to the PADD she held in hand, hoping he’d take her disinterest in conversation as a sign he should leave.  
  
He sniffed in frustration. “Did you read the letter?” He sounded hurt, but she didn’t have time to think about his feelings now. Or perhaps she’d just fallen beyond caring about them.  
  
“I read it,” she responded simply. She gave a light sigh to show her irritation and rested the PADD on the desk.  
  
He seemed to be mulling something over. A deep sadness clouded his eyes, but was quickly replaced by what Kathryn could only think was determination.  
  
“The twelfth rose,” he began awkwardly. “I left it in your quarters; I thought you might actually heed the advice in the letter. When I realised you weren’t going to take a break –” he brought a hand from behind his back and proffered a single red rose. The petals were immaculate, perfect and a brilliant crimson in colour.  
  
She stared at the flower, honestly dumbfounded.  
  
“I hope you know what the red rose means.” He took a step forward, close enough that she could take the flower.  
  
“But what about Seven?” she blurted. Her eyes were fixed on the red rose, though she didn’t take it. She wasn’t quite sure what to make of it. She knew the tradition, of course. Perhaps tradition was different on Trebus?  
  
“How did you know about Seven?” he asked. His voice wavered and he appeared more uncomfortable that she’d ever witnessed.  
  
The fact that it was true hurt more than she thought possible. She hung her head in an effort to hide her pain, wishing this conversation could be over faster.  
  
“Admiral Janeway?” he surmised. He gave a short, exasperated laugh. “It took us two dates to work out we weren’t really compatible.”  
  
He made another attempt to hand her the rose, giving an imploring look.  
  
Kathryn drew an unsteady breath and took the flower, though she focussed her attention on Chakotay.  
  
“If we’d remained in the Delta Quadrant maybe things would have been different.”  
  
_Yeah, you’d have married her_ , Kathryn growled internally.  
  
“But I fell for someone else long ago, someone I couldn’t be with –” he moved around the side of her desk to stand before her. His proximity caused her heart to flutter, a light-headed sensation passing over her.  
  
“Now we’re home,” he moved his other hand from behind his back, revealing an open leather box, a striking platinum and rose gold ring, with small diamond nestled inside.  
  
She was too stunned to react as he took a knee in front of her.  
  
“Now that we’re home I want to spend my life with the woman I love.”  
  
“Chakotay,” was all she could manage in a whisper. Her brain took a short time to process what was happening. Her eyes couldn’t work out where to focus, flicking back and forth between the ring and Chakotay. To give herself a moment to think she placed the rose on the table beside her.  
  
“You want to marry me?”  
  
He responded with a beautiful smile that made the vision of Earth seem rather paltry in comparison. His dimples lit his face making her already thrumming heart work double time.  
  
She wanted to say something. She wanted to say yes, but her mouth seemed to have gone into shock. All she could think to do was grab him, to hold him and never let go.  
  
So that’s what she did. She grasped his shoulders and pulled herself into his embrace, moving in to taste his lips. He came forward eagerly, arms wrapping around her with a delicacy that belied his size.  
  
Their tongues met in an intricate and passionate dance, too long in waiting. His kiss held all the love she’d thought she’d lost, reassuring her that he wasn’t going anywhere.  
  
Their position by her desk wasn’t the most comfortable and as much as she’d have liked to remain there, kissing him for the rest of the night, her muscles began to ache. They pulled away from each other, Chakotay’s hand resting on her cheek as he moved back to rest on his haunches.  
  
“Yes,” she whispered finally.  
  
If she’d thought his smile before was a wondrous sight, this one could have dulled a supernova. He closed his eyes and ducked his head to the side for a heartbeat before returning his gaze to hers again.  
  
“I love you,” she admitted. Speaking the words felt liberating, as though a giant weight had been lifted from her chest. She smiled genuinely for the first time in what felt like forever.  
  
“I love you too,” he responded softly.  
  
Why she’d ever doubted that, she’d never truly understand.  
  
He took her hand and pulled the ring from the box, holding it up, indicating that he wanted to test its size. She allowed him to slip the band on her finger. It was a little loose, but still stayed on past her knuckle.  
  
She admired the piece with an affectionate smile, happier about what it represented, rather than the ring itself. Despite uniform regulations she made a vow to herself to keep the ring on until their wedding. She’d like to see Starfleet try keeper her from doing so.  
  
Lacing his fingers with hers, he pulled her to her feet. “Now will you take a break?” he asked with an amused tone.  
  
She agreed with a nod and they departed the ready room arm in arm, with eyes only for each other. The officers on the bridge became the first to know of the growth in their command team’s relationship. The news spread through the ship like wildfire, reaching every ear before they woke up in each other’s arms the next morning.  
  
Finally Kathryn felt at home.

The End


End file.
